It’s only the 7th of January of 2011, a mere few days into the year, a solemn 168 hours in, a sleepy 10,080 minutes along, a yawnable 604,800 seconds into this spectacle…. and I’ve already made a fucking tit of myself! Way to freaking go, Seb! It seems like I can’t last a few days without a quirky story or odd situation exploding in my perimeter and forcing me to practise my MacGyver action dives to avoid unwanted outcomes.
So it was settled, I was meeting my grrrl at Newtown park, under our regular tree to hang out and enjoy the company of one another before dinner. What a great idea, I parked my car near the park and walked a small stretch to our spot. As I was waking up to the meeting spot, I saw her, she was lying on her picnic blanket, the wind covered her face with the corner of the blanket… So I began to sneak up. I tip toed one cautious step before another, trying not to crunch leaves under my shoes. I got to be right next to her. I hunched down. I went to kiss her neck.
But I quickly stopped. And snapped into horror mode.
It wasn’t my girl!
The stranger heard me gasp silently and turned to me, her eyes met mine, I instantly noticed a different hair style, a nose piercing and a surprised look of disbelief aimed squarely at me, your idiotic narrator!
I quickly sprung up and babbled “GAH! Sorry! I confused you for someone else! Sorrysorrysorrysorry!!” and darted off towards my grrrl, who was only a few more paces away, wearing almost the same clothing and lying on a picnic blanket that is almost identical!
Instantly I meet up with the true grrrl I was seeing and told her the story, and tried hard not to allow my flustered cheeks get the best of me. She laughed. She laughed so hard, that it put me to ease. She laughed so hard, that I couldn’t help but join in too. Because in all reality, it’s not everyday where you get a chance to covertly almost vampire kiss an absolute stranger and get away with it!
But for freaks sake, why does this crap always happen to me? Oh well, at least I can relax at night thinking that if ever I become a vampire, I might be damn well good at it!